Memories, Lies and a Great few weeks

Often our memories are traitors to themselves and it is usually in a favorable way at first, after that we realize that the memory is more of a trickster then we could have ever hoped. For example, I have been known to think about people I used to know and I have great memories of them, and then when we meet and we see how time and age has done to us, we both understand that we have grown, matured and changed. Some people for the better and some people worse. This is all part of the game of life.

I remember that when I was much younger I had this semi-girlfriend and she and I were getting along amazingly. We both were interested in the same books, the same music and even the same diet habits. I have always thought of myself as a bit advanced when it came to these things, and when I encountered someone who shared these ideas, it was often a stranger attraction for me then just the visual appearance. (It is funny, she gave me a book that I have carried with me my whole life. It is no great piece of literature, but it was something to remind me that life can be a little simpler then one often thinks?

Then life happened, she was sent away to live in another state for a school her parents thought would be better for her. I was crushed! We wrote often at first, but like many young loves time dictates the emotional distance. And after a year I had all but given hope for this woman, I was convinced she was gone and it was time for me to move on……….Then one day about a year and a half later I get a phone call, and I recognized the voice with out hesitation. It was her, and my Heart fluttered as she spoke, and I was full of hope, and for me this was a big deal! I had been going thru somewhat of a bad time and there was light on the horizon!!!!! We set a time to meet and I went to the proposed spot, knocked on the door and this incredible woman answered the door, and thank god she looked at me and said; “Shawn it is so great to see you, I have missed you for so long and she started hugging me! I was a little drawn back as I didn’t recognize who this was at first? Then it hit me…..it was her, the woman who had left almost a year and a half ago! She was beautiful actually she was more like stunning! I couldn’t believe it, here was a woman who shared everything that I loved and she was a dream come true!

We sat on the porch and talked, we went to dinner and even for a walk and this whole time I kept thinking, “Is this for real? Is this really the same person that I had fallen in love with a while back? I mean at first I had accepted everything about her, her odd past, her strange childhood and the way with which she was brought up. She was even out of the normal for a woman that I would have dated, but she had such a strong character that I couldn’t help myself with her. (Too be really honest, I have always had a thing for really skinny woman, and this woman was not skinny, she was not fat, but she was a few pounds over weight this was for sure. And when she came back she was perfect, even to this day when I think about her and I see pictures of her from back then, I still feel the love for her that I did then. The sad truth was that she was only in town for a short period I think it was a few weeks? But I do know that this woman taught me more about life then many other relationships that I have been in for much longer times. And if she never reads this, I still thank her for a fantastic part of my youth.

I do know that I haven’t captured all of what I wish to say here, but I did want to make a few points and I think I have succeeded in doing that? So why do I mention this? Because as I said earlier, our memories like to lie to us and if we listen to them, they will continue to do so, and then they will throw a little anxiety in there just for fun, but if we take a chance and look around the corner we can at times be very surprised! So look up your old friends and your old flames and remember that even though they have changed remember more importantly that you too have changed. We have to, it is called life, live enjoy it and remember to take the step that the person next to you wouldn’t take! If you can do this, your life will be at least one step closer to being fulfilled, or maybe a half a step?